Some
people hate negotiating. They think it is too confrontational or they just
don’t want to be bothered. They would rather pay full price than negotiate.
When they buy a car, they pay the sticker price. When they experience problems
with an appliance or computer they have purchased, they accept the response
that there is nothing to be done from the customer complaint office. As a
result, they sometimes become frustrated, blaming themselves for giving in or
being timid.
This
practical guide will show you that negotiating those everyday transactions and
maneuvering life’s daily little annoyances does not have to be confrontational
at all and can sometimes even be quite fun. It will show you how you can avoid
confrontation in certain circumstances and still achieve your goals in the
negotiation, whether it is getting the best price on a new car or dealing with
an overworked and underpaid service representative. It will provide you with a
new way of dealing with those pesky call and service centers that never seem
able to help you. Although intended primarily for baby boomers, I think it will
help just about anyone to be a better negotiator in those day to day
negotiations.
The
dictionary defines "negotiation" as the "mutual discussion and
arrangement of the terms of a transaction or agreement." [1]
From this definition, it is apparent that one of the characteristics of a
negotiation is that it is "mutual." That means that a negotiation is
not intended to be one-sided. Each party is expected to be heard.
There
are some people who believe that unless they receive everything they are
seeking in a negotiation, they have failed. They are usually the ones who are
rude and love confrontation. However, as the Rolling Stones sang, "you
can't always get what you want." That is not to say that you should not
try to get whatever you can. But keep in mind, in a negotiation there are bound
to be compromises by both parties.
There
are other people who believe that at the end of the negotiations each party
should have received something of value. Often, this is called a "win
win" result. While that may be the best result for all parties, the
reality is that generally one party does get more than the other. This guide
will help you be the one who gets more. Stuart Diamond, the author of a book on
negotiation, in fact, titled his book, "Getting More." As he notes repeatedly in his book, that does
not mean getting everything.[2]
How
to Become a Successful Negotiator
What makes someone a
good negotiator? There are many books on the subject of negotiations and
seminars that may cost thousands of dollars. In this small guide, I hope to
distil the best practices of a good negotiator in everyday situations. The best
way to become one yourself is to practice. As the old joke went: “How do I get
to Carnegie Hall?” “Practice, practice,
practice!” Let me suggest that the following guidelines are a good start. Much
of what follows is simply common sense. Yet too often we forget them. This is the first in a series of posts on negotiations which will appear periodically on this blog. So, stay tuned.
