The Baby Boomer's Practical Guide to Everday Negotiations

Some people hate negotiating. They think it is too confrontational or they just don’t want to be bothered. They would rather pay full price than negotiate. When they buy a car, they pay the sticker price. When they experience problems with an appliance or computer they have purchased, they accept the response that there is nothing to be done from the customer complaint office. As a result, they sometimes become frustrated, blaming themselves for giving in or being timid.

This practical guide will show you that negotiating those everyday transactions and maneuvering life’s daily little annoyances does not have to be confrontational at all and can sometimes even be quite fun. It will show you how you can avoid confrontation in certain circumstances and still achieve your goals in the negotiation, whether it is getting the best price on a new car or dealing with an overworked and underpaid service representative. It will provide you with a new way of dealing with those pesky call and service centers that never seem able to help you. Although intended primarily for baby boomers, I think it will help just about anyone to be a better negotiator in those day to day negotiations.

 What is Negotiation?

The dictionary defines "negotiation" as the "mutual discussion and arrangement of the terms of a transaction or agreement." [1] From this definition, it is apparent that one of the characteristics of a negotiation is that it is "mutual." That means that a negotiation is not intended to be one-sided. Each party is expected to be heard.

There are some people who believe that unless they receive everything they are seeking in a negotiation, they have failed. They are usually the ones who are rude and love confrontation. However, as the Rolling Stones sang, "you can't always get what you want." That is not to say that you should not try to get whatever you can. But keep in mind, in a negotiation there are bound to be compromises by both parties.

There are other people who believe that at the end of the negotiations each party should have received something of value. Often, this is called a "win win" result. While that may be the best result for all parties, the reality is that generally one party does get more than the other. This guide will help you be the one who gets more. Stuart Diamond, the author of a book on negotiation, in fact, titled his book, "Getting More." As he notes repeatedly in his book, that does not mean getting everything.[2]

How to Become a Successful Negotiator

What makes someone a good negotiator? There are many books on the subject of negotiations and seminars that may cost thousands of dollars. In this small guide, I hope to distil the best practices of a good negotiator in everyday situations. The best way to become one yourself is to practice. As the old joke went: “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?”  “Practice, practice, practice!” Let me suggest that the following guidelines are a good start. Much of what follows is simply common sense. Yet too often we forget them.

This is the first in a series of posts on negotiations which will appear periodically on this blog. So, stay tuned.

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[1] www.Dictionary.com

[2] www.gettingmore.com

The Baby Boomer's Practical Guide to Everday Negotations

"The Baby Boomer's Practical Guide to Everyday Negotiations", a free e-book is now available on this blog at the entry dated November 24, 2012.  Let me know what you think.

The Boomer's Guide to West Point

The United States Military Academy is the training ground for our Army commissioned officer corps. Founded by President Thomas Jefferson in 1802, it sits on the site of a Revolutionary War fortress that was taken by the Americans on January 27, 1778 It has a commanding presence over the Hudson River Valley and its strategic importance is immediately apparent.

West Point is located 50 miles north of New York City on Route 9W.  It is available for private tours. www.westpointtours.com. Those tours begin at the visitors center located just outside the main gate.  Photo ID is required to purchase a ticket and upon boarding the shuttle bus.

Our tour guide on our one hour tour (two hour tours are also available) was a very knowledgeable teacher from a nearby school district.  As luck would have it, the guide's son, who will be a third year cadet at the Academy was also on the bus. We learned that third year cadets are called "cows"; first year cadets are plebes, second year cadets are yearlings and fourth year cadets are called "firsties."

The initial fortifications at West Point during the Revolutionary War were developed by a Polish engineer, Thaddeus Kosciuszko. A monument to Kosciuszko is located near Clinton Field. It was his defensive strategy for West Point that the infamous traitor, Benedict Arnold, had offered to provide to the British because Arnold felt he had not been given adequate credit for his role during the battle of Saratoga. Arnold escaped to England and his British contact, Major Andre, was hanged.

Architecturally, one of the most impressive buildings on campus is the non-denominational Protestant chapel. (There are also Catholic and Jewish chapels on campus).  The chapel is in the Gothic style and can seat some 1500 people.  In addition it is said to have the world's largest pipe organ in a religious setting. According to our tour guide, some 100 weddings are held there each year. Cadets are not permitted to be married while at the Academy so there is a rash of weddings immediately after graduation.

"Duty, Honor, Country".  Those were the words spoken by General Douglas MacArthur, a 1903 graduate of the Academy, upon his acceptance of the Sylvanus Thayer Award.  Those words basically sum up the philosophy instilled in the cadets at West Point. One other word characterizes those cadets, men and women, who pass through this hallowed campus and it is craved on a bench over looking the Hudson Valley:

As our tour bus was leaving  the campus, our tour guide pointed to a building and said that was the building where intelligence experts had reviewed some of the documents taken from Osama Bin Laden's compound when he was killed. 

At the completion of our tour, we stopped in at the Thayer Hotel, just inside the main gate.  The hotel is named for Sylvanus Thayer, one of early superintendents of the Academy, who was responsible for  the engineering emphasis of the curriculum.  We had an excellent buffet lunch in MacArthur's, a restaurant in the lower level of the hotel with outdoor space overlooking the campus and the Hudson Valley.

The Boomer's Guide to the Roosevelt Homes: Val-Kil

Located about two miles from the Roosevelt estate, Springwood, is the fieldstone retreat of Eleanor Roosevelt, Val-Kil.  Loosely translated, Val-Kil means waterfall stream. FDR had the cottage built in 1924 for Eleanor and her two friends, Nancy Cook and Marion Dickerman.  Val-Kil is a National Historic Site run by the National Park Service. Unlike FDR's retreat, Top Cottage, Val-Kil is accessible by private automobile or the Roosevelt Ride shuttle. As a National Historic Site, you may use your Senior Pass.

Tours of Val-Kil are offered on the hour.  Before the tour begins, be sure to see the short, 15 minute video shown in one of the adjacent buildings. It provides an interesting and informative background for the woman known as the "First Lady of the World."

Although it was a retreat for Mrs. Roosevelt and her female friends, FDR frequently visited as well. Often he would drive his specially outfitted Ford convertible up the dirt road known as the Roosevelt Farm Lane to Val-Kil. 

In addition to being a restful retreat for Mrs. Roosevelt, Val-Kil was also the site of a business operated by Mrs. Roosevelt and her friends known as Val-Kil Industries.  Craftsmen were hired to make small furniture and other decorative items. Today, some of them are reputed to be quite valuable.

Val-Kil was simply decorated and much of the original furniture is in place, particularly in the modest dining room.

If you are interested in more information about Val-Kil, Springwood, Top Cottage or Hyde Park, visit www.HistoricHydePark.org or phone 1-800-FDR-VISIT.

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The Baby Boomer's Guide to the Best Places to Visit and Things to Do in America

I have not written in a while because---what else---we were traveling. This time we were visiting Hyde Park, New York and Spring Lake, New Jersey.  Before I discuss those trips in later posts, I just wanted to acknowledge my gratitude to Patricia Schultz, the author of 1,000 Places to See Before You Die.. The book is a rich source of information concerning places to visit not only in the United States but also throughout the world.  In reading the book, it occurred to me that my wife and I had already visited a number of the places she has written about.  As an example, my most recent post dealt with Shipshewana, the Amish community in Northern Indiana. Although we had been there many times over the last decade, it was interesting to see it listed in the 1,000 Places book.

This got me thinking:  why not see how many of the 1000 places can we visit and also write about. So, that we are going to try to do.  We may not cover them all and we will write about some places not on her list, but we will try to give you baby boomers a guide to what we think are the best and most fun places to visit and things to do.  While the book is a starting point in some instances, the opinions expressed are our own and the observations are ours also.

I hope you will enjoy our Baby Boomer's Guide to the Best Places to Visit and Things to Do!